Family of Origin: Fathered Through Fishing
My journey begins in suburban Georgia as one of twelve cousins in a matriarch family. Primarily raised by our Korean immigrant grandma, moms, and uncle, I was brought up alongside my older brother and sibling-like cousins in the warm Southern climate and wooded subdivisions.
Part of our strange closeness as cousins resulted from our parents’ divorces and the unexpected co-parenting system that developed from four single moms teaming up with their youngest brother (our uncle) as a father figure. The clan banded together to build a company and raise twelve hungry, hyperactive, and destructive kids. However, while I felt protected and cared for by the love and support of our mother(s), I experienced a coinciding reality of longing for a present and loving biological father in my everyday life.
The wounds I carried from my physically absent biological father and emotionally distant stepfather stunted my ability to connect with God who was supposedly a close and intimate Heavenly Father. When I would learn about God in church through Bible study or sermons, I could not help but feel like this Father was actually just a distant, unstable, unreliable, transactional, or apathetic guy.
During this painful chapter of my childhood, our moms’ youngest sibling, Uncle Jeff or ‘Uncle King’ as we used to call him, stepped into our lives to help raise us like a father alongside his four sisters. My uncle started to share his own life with us which involved epic expeditions such as professional volleyball coaching, climbing Mt. Everest, world-class fishing, but more importantly his thriving marriage and his own journey to understand the identity as a beloved child of God and a faithful follower of Jesus Christ.
I can’t fully speak for the other boys, but adventures with Uncle were transformative, impactful, and healing for my own life. Venturing into the woods, building forts, playing sports, rock climbing, mountain biking, fishing, and experiencing play in the natural world with Uncle provided so much excitement, joy, and laughter that shined brightly amidst the reality of feeling father-less. Sure, fishing every day had its slow moments too, but we were spending countless hours gazing at beautiful rivers, ponds, lakes, and oceans while waiting eagerly for a fish to take our bait, and I started to sense God’s presence through the grandeur of His natural creation. On a deeper level, my uncle accepted who I was, challenged me to become my best self, and walked alongside my highs and lows as his comforting presence in my life provided the safety, mentorship, and affirmation that I always craved from a healthy father-son relationship. The healing I experienced in the relationship gave me a hopeful vision of what an intimate relationship with a loving and caring Heavenly Father could look like.
Thus, spending time in nature with a fishing rod in hand is how I am continually reminded of father-figures like my uncle who showed me sacrificial love in ways that helped heal, restore, and mend father wounds so that I could start to experience the ultimate comfort and joy of God’s Fatherly presence in my life. In addition, the ‘Original 5’ outdoor adventures that were facilitated by the leadership of my uncle, the support of our mothers, and the camaraderie of cousins were my first taste of an authentic and enjoyable discipleship community and spiritual family where I could journey with others toward a rich life in Jesus Christ.
It is now through the outdoor ministry context where my story comes alive, a story of how God lovingly pursued a fatherless group of boys through the unique context of fishing, play, and adventure. Through the love of a fisherman uncle who helped raise me and my brothers as fishermen, I have been able to connect my own life to the biblical story of Jesus calling a group of fishermen brothers to leave behind their nets, their families, and their lives to help build a new Kingdom family. In the abundance that I received, I now find myself as a beloved son adopted into the family of God, called to a life as a fisher of lost children for His Kingdom family.